There are countless reasons why people don't take initiative in relationships. We're all busy. We're all distracted. Life gets in the way and we don't reach out.

**Superconnectors do.** They make an effort to start conversations and keep relationships going. This is perhaps the most important difference between the top 1% and the rest of us.

Something as basic as firing off a handful of simple text messages at the dog park can be a game-changer.

## Lessons from Who Got Me Here

### [Tod Sacerdoti](https://whogotmehere.com/) · 2x CEO with a $640M exit and early investments in unicorns

- For Tod, "networking" isn't the right word. It's about genuine, meaningful connections built by bringing people together around shared interests and passions.
- Our conversation was packed with insights about the value of being a host, why curation is a relationship-building superpower, and the importance of reminding people you're still alive.

### [Molly Graham](https://www.whogotmehere.com/episodes/episode-2-molly-graham) · helped both Google and Facebook navigate intense scaling

- Her story is packed with lessons on the outsized power of being a friend and how curiosity can forge meaningful relationships quickly.
- Don't be the person who reaches out only when you need something. Check in with people when you don't need anything.
- We think people are busy and don't want that ping—but everyone wants the email or text letting them know they're top of mind.

### [Nick Mehta](https://www.whogotmehere.com/episodes/nick-mehta-ceo-at-gainsight) · CEO of Gainsight

- One of the worst ways to network is being transactional. Relationship building is about looking for ways to help other people.
- His great saying: _the worst time to network is when you're looking for a job. The best time to network is always._
- Over ten years he's made roughly 10,000 intros. In life, you want to be in the business of doing favors—the more you give, the more you get back.

## Putting it into practice

Over the next week, put 1–2 of these tactics into practice:

- **Run a relationship refresh blitz** — for a week or a month, reach out to a handful of people every day. Something as simple as "You crossed my mind, and I wanted to see how you're doing" can quickly become an interesting conversation.
- **Plan your follow-ups** — after a friendly conversation at an event or meeting, set a reminder for when you'll reach out and what you'll say. "Text Joanna about underrated Spanish wines" is plenty. The point is to keep the conversation going.
- **Go to events — and participate** — if you're trying to establish yourself in a community or industry, show up. Introduce yourself, ask people about themselves, and get in the mix.
- **Be a host** — there's incredible power in being the person who brings others together. A few happy hours or backyard barbecues with a small group of interesting people can forge connections that have a huge impact on your career.